I've been cutting people out of my life recently that I feel are undeserving of my friendship. One has taken it just as I expected, and I pity that person, more than anything else because they just don't get it.
You're manipulative, you crave control, and when I stopped letting you have it, you got angry and retaliated in the only way you know how: trying to insult me and get a reaction. You can call me a fat cunt or try to cut me down by saying that I need to realize that no one likes me.
It won't work because I know different. The people I want in my life have proved different. I have a family who loves me for exactly who I am and supports me in all my life decisions. I have a boyfriend who makes me feel like I can do anything I could imagine and more. I have friends who care about me and show it through their actions, not their words.
Always be yourself. Never try to hide who you are. The only shame is to have shame. Always stand up for what you believe in. Always question what other people tell you. Never regret the past. It's a waste of time. There's a reason for everything. Every mistake, every moment of weakness, every terrible thing that has happened to you. Grow from it. The only way you can ever get the respect of others is when you show them that you respect yourself, and more importantly, do your thing and never apologize for being you.
To the people who don't matter in the end:
I'm not sorry.
14 December 2011
07 December 2011
I'm Done.
I'm tired of the bullshit. I put up with it and ignored it because I thought it was better than the drama that would come out of deleting you from Facebook, but fuck it. You're the exact same person you were last time this shit was happening, and you never meant a word of your apologies. I knew it all along, but I went along with it anyway. I'll admit, I wasn't being honest either when I said I wanted things to be the way they used to. It's just something you say because it's the easiest thing to do.
Don't think I'm ignorant of the fact that you're pulling the same stunts as six months ago. I'm well aware that nothing's changed. I'm also highly aware of the fact that you've learned from last time. But your mistake this time was thinking that just because I couldn't see it didn't mean I would never find out. But now I'm not putting up with it.
I won't point fingers or name names here, because that's not classy. But you've got a giant fuck you coming at you from karma. I don't know when or how, but it's coming. You better believe it.
I've got better things to focus my energy on, and being angry just isn't one of them. So this is me washing my hands of you and this whole thing, because I'm done.
Don't think I'm ignorant of the fact that you're pulling the same stunts as six months ago. I'm well aware that nothing's changed. I'm also highly aware of the fact that you've learned from last time. But your mistake this time was thinking that just because I couldn't see it didn't mean I would never find out. But now I'm not putting up with it.
I won't point fingers or name names here, because that's not classy. But you've got a giant fuck you coming at you from karma. I don't know when or how, but it's coming. You better believe it.
I've got better things to focus my energy on, and being angry just isn't one of them. So this is me washing my hands of you and this whole thing, because I'm done.
04 December 2011
Only Temporary
I am so damn excited to move to Calgary. I don't think anyone really understands how much I am dying to get away from Sonoma County, and the United States in general.
I've been looking into apartments for the last 3+ months to get an idea of the general cost, location, and such will be like when Jon and I move up at the end of next August. We're going up in June to do some in-person apartment hunting in June. The undetermined plan is to visit both Calgary and BC with my parents and brother. My brother is going to be moved up to Calgary in June, most likely, and we're going to visit my stepsister in BC and her baby, which is due end of May. We haven't figured out if we're going to go to Calgary first or BC first. My parents want to stay for at least a week in BC, but Jon and I can't take off two weeks from work for the trip, we were going to go for a week at the very most. So most likely we will go to Calgary, get my brother moved in while Jon and I apartment hunt and potentially put down three months rent starting for September 1st, and then go to BC for a few days and then head back down. I think my parents would take my brother back to Calgary before they head back down, since I'm pretty sure sure he wants to meet our future niece/nephew.
I've also been looking into cell phone plans, cable/internet/home phone plans, banks, jobs, etc. The more I research, the more excited I get for this. And the more money I put into Bank of Mom for savings (since I know I'd have a hard time doing it on my own, my mom is helping me save $10,000), the more it hits me that I'm actually going to be leaving in a little under nine months. Nine months seems like a long time, but with the way time has been flying lately, it'll be here in no time. It only feels like last week that Jon and I were talking to my friend Emanuel and started considering Edmonton and Calgary instead of Vancouver, which we'd been set on from about early May until late summer. But it's been three or four months since we decided on Calgary, and I'm not looking back. I'm ready to leave; the States was never my home, and I always knew it was only temporary.
I'm not thrilled to be living in Flames land, but from what I hear, Calgary has a decent Canucks following, so I won't be too alone. Jon, however, is going to be so far from Sharks Territory, I doubt there's a single Sharks fan out there for him to bond with haha.
I've been looking into apartments for the last 3+ months to get an idea of the general cost, location, and such will be like when Jon and I move up at the end of next August. We're going up in June to do some in-person apartment hunting in June. The undetermined plan is to visit both Calgary and BC with my parents and brother. My brother is going to be moved up to Calgary in June, most likely, and we're going to visit my stepsister in BC and her baby, which is due end of May. We haven't figured out if we're going to go to Calgary first or BC first. My parents want to stay for at least a week in BC, but Jon and I can't take off two weeks from work for the trip, we were going to go for a week at the very most. So most likely we will go to Calgary, get my brother moved in while Jon and I apartment hunt and potentially put down three months rent starting for September 1st, and then go to BC for a few days and then head back down. I think my parents would take my brother back to Calgary before they head back down, since I'm pretty sure sure he wants to meet our future niece/nephew.
I've also been looking into cell phone plans, cable/internet/home phone plans, banks, jobs, etc. The more I research, the more excited I get for this. And the more money I put into Bank of Mom for savings (since I know I'd have a hard time doing it on my own, my mom is helping me save $10,000), the more it hits me that I'm actually going to be leaving in a little under nine months. Nine months seems like a long time, but with the way time has been flying lately, it'll be here in no time. It only feels like last week that Jon and I were talking to my friend Emanuel and started considering Edmonton and Calgary instead of Vancouver, which we'd been set on from about early May until late summer. But it's been three or four months since we decided on Calgary, and I'm not looking back. I'm ready to leave; the States was never my home, and I always knew it was only temporary.
I'm not thrilled to be living in Flames land, but from what I hear, Calgary has a decent Canucks following, so I won't be too alone. Jon, however, is going to be so far from Sharks Territory, I doubt there's a single Sharks fan out there for him to bond with haha.
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